yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Semen is not good for contacts.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
