There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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