piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize