I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
