I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
