Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
