Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
