Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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