In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
