Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
