I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize