there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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