she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
