no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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