Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Everclear isn't food dammit
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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