I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
