before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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