I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
