This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
