So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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