okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
