I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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