I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
