part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
