I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
