nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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