I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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