This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Randomize
