How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
