Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
