I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
