If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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