I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
