why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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