I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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