Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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