we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
