..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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