oh god the rape fog is back!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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