i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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