if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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