youre lurking in front of me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
