can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
