some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
