They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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