To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
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