Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
