Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize