Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
