Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
