remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
