Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize