but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
