I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
