please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
