hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
