Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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