Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My hand turned me down
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
