doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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