I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
