I love black thongs
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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